I don’t have time for that

To quote myself talking to ANYONE lately: “December is kicking my butt.” I’m sure MANY of you are nodding your heads emphatically right now. Don’t get me wrong - I LOVE this time of year. The lights, the coziness, the cookies, the kindness, the cheer, the cookies, Jesus’ approaching birthday, the cookies…

But this also tends to be a stressful time of year. Every day, my to-do (and to-buy) list has been growing longer and longer. My mind was filled with all the STUFF that needed to get done. I was mentally scheduling my days… “Drop the kids at school, then go to A, B, and C…drop off D, E, and F…go buy G, H, and I…” In the midst of all this, a friend reached out asking if anyone could cover her Adoration shift from 1-2pm. My first thought was “oh, no…I hope someone can help her!” Because as I looked at everything that needed to be done, it didn’t seem as though I could fit one more thing in. And a whole hour?! AND right before I had to get the kids from school?! I thought about it, and then told her I could cover her shift “if she couldn’t get anyone else.” And then felt guilty. So later, told her I would do it, no problem.

It turned out to be the most lovely, relaxing hour. I alternated between reading my prayer books, journaling, and just sitting quietly. And let me tell you, that hour flew by. When I checked the time at one point, I was shocked to see that over an hour had already passed. I packed up my things and had a little bit of time before the kids were dismissed. So I decided to take a walk. In all of my scheduling lately, moving my body had been knocked off the table in order to make room for more “important” things (rolling my eyes at myself, here).

Moving my body with a brisk walk felt so good. I had been sitting, driving, and rushing so much that walking just for the sake of walking was such a nice treat.

I felt grateful that God had presented this opportunity to me. He, as always, knew just what I needed. And I could just get back to my to-do list tomorrow, right? Right!

…but then my son got sick.

All my plans were tossed out the window. I felt TERRIBLE for him, but also for myself. My husband was out of town and not due back anytime soon. How was I supposed to do it all? How was I supposed to get it all done?

So, the next day, I stayed home. I stayed in and took care of my son. I stayed in sweatpants all day and camped out on the couch with him. I worked on Rooted, I caught up on a ton of laundry that I had been neglecting, and I managed to go through the mail pile that I had been tossing on the counter every day in my rush to keep going. I turned the Christmas Tree lights on and even lit a candle. It was cold and rainy that day, and let me tell you - sweatpants in the cozy house was MUCH preferable to running errands out in the miserable weather. And that’s when it hit me - God was giving me this much-needed break. He had tried to give me one the previous day, and while I enjoyed it, I was ready to just dive back in to go go go mode again.

I still felt terrible for my son. He felt pretty crummy, but it was nothing (thank GOD) life threatening. But, I also found an appreciation for this day “stuck” indoors. I hadn’t even realized that things that hadn’t even been on my list (I’m looking at you, dirty laundry) were taking a toll on me. While laundry had been pushed to the back burner, it must have still been nagging at the back of my mind because let me tell you, once I got through that mountain I felt pretty good. Even though I still got a lot done at home, it was done in a relaxing way. I didn’t have to rush here and there. I could do it on my own schedule. My priority was taking care of my son. Everything else fell into place around that.

And that was the mind-blowing DUH moment happened. What a great reminder! When I kept jamming things on my to-do list, it was just adding stress and the list seemed never-ending. But, when I put God first, things fall into place around that. Obviously sitting in the Presence of God is more important than buying new garland for the door (face palm). Obviously taking care of my son is more important that purchasing things to make the most beautiful, presentable gift. Besides, that’s what gift cards are for.

Over the next few days, my priorities had shifted. I made an effort to get up a bit earlier so I could start my day drinking coffee and praying. The quiet, still house + a hot cup of coffee + time with God = the literal most perfect way to start a day. Spending these few moments with God in the morning truly centered my mind and took away the constant stress that was building. I still had things to get done, but I prioritized and cut back where I could. And - everything got done. Much got done last minute, but it got done. And in such a joyous, peaceful way. I don’t think that would have been the case if God hadn’t gifted me that time in Adoration with Him, and that day at home with my son. He knew just what I needed, when I needed it. So, Thank You, God. Thank You for helping me find You when I was in my own way. Thank You for always being there, quietly waiting for me to notice and acknowledge You. He always has time for Me, and I need to always remember to make time for Him…even when - actually, ESPECIALLY when - the To-Do List seems too full to add even one more thing.

God Bless You!